South East Asia – Part 1: Lizard on a stick

WEEEEEEEE!! 

Hello to all in presumably lugubrious Vancouver. I’ve 20 minutes to describe the last 2 days so I’ll do my best but sadly my typing skills arent’ up to the standards set by all my court-reporter friends. 

Well, what to say about Korea? I was only there really for a few hours in Seoul so I’ll give you my impressions. Airport-clean, efficient…my God, you’re in in about 10 minutes as opposed to Vancouver’s crummy two hours. Why do we have to suck so much ass at everything? I felt inadequate. At the dairy queens they have blue-dipped cones! BLUE!! hot damn, I exclaimed aloud to the total bewilderment of the locals. 

I decided to hop a tour to see as much of Seoul in the short time I was there as I could. The tour guide was very into hocking up phlegm at the most unexpected moments. I got off at one of the markets, intent on enjoying whatever un-named foods Korea had to offer. I ended up eating a “Korean Fusion Burger” which was made of things that I don’t know what they were but they were drippy and good. Next I experienced what could best be described, in appearance anyway as Lizard on a Stick. It was very deep fried and saucy but snap!!! so tasty! I wanted to eat more mysterious meat but was much lilmited by time so I hopped back onto the bus and checkout out the Seoul tower. “Wow” you say to yourself, that must have been great, seeing the city from the tower. Here’s the thing though, Korea is much like Vancouver weather-wise so it was cloudy and actually snowing! Keep in mind I was advised against pants here people, so here I am, the (literally) only white guy in Seoul, running around in the snow in my board shorts with a camera and a lizard on a stick. I couldn’t have had more fun though and I wish I had had more time. 

As we drove around on the tour, I was informed by the mucousy guide that we were in the “Poppy district” “Poppy district?, I thought to myself, they have a whole section of town for this one type of flower?” I peered outside to see shop after shop filled with puppys of the tiniest variety. A little lost in the translation I guess. Here, the mystery of the lizard was solved as I saw the man who had sold me my tasty treat stocking up on bulk huskies. Snap!! 

I’m sure many of you have heard that in Asian countries, white people are viewed as Gods, or at least Demi-Gods. I assure you that in Korea, nothing could be furthur from the truth. I was completely ignored except when I wanted to buy something. They were nice when I had to get something but no one, NOONE spoke English. That’s kind of how I like it as it presents a unique challenge. 

Korea was cool in that I had never read anything about it, didn’t know the first thing about the language or customs, had no idea where to go or what to see and had to figure everything out on the go. This is a truly liberating experience and I ecnourage everyone to do it as often as possible. IN fact, drop whatever you’re doing and get your ass to Bangkok right now because it’s the greatest, craziest thing you’ve ever seen and I’ve only been here 12 hours. I’m hooking up with my buddy Rey at some point today and it’ll be nice to see a familiar face although I’m really enjoying seeing non-familiar ones right now. Sooooo cooool!!! So many people here from so many different places, I’ve never had such a feeling of adventure before. 

I will write more about Thailand later cause my time is up and I want to get outside into the humid, humid air and enjoy another Papaya milkshake. 

I love you all and I hope you send me some messages with updates on what’s going on over there and to tell me how much you miss me. HA! 

Talk to you all soon, 

-dj-